besides renn fayre weekend, of course,
finals week is the craziest time at reed
the library is a 24 hour scene
it smells like stress b.o.
people have rice cookers on their desks
and there are sleeping bags in little nooks
they're giving out burritos and massages
in the library lobby right now and
the stimulants tables is well stocked
sometimes people have nervous breakdowns and
that disturbs everyone's studying for a bit

madness

i wrote a paper friday night
then wrote another paper yesterday
and accidentily saved the 2nd one
on top of the 1st one so now
it's gone forever and i'm
rewriting it right now
two more to go
after this
yeah

it's been below 32 degrees
during the fucking day!
for several days now
this is not normal
the canyon on campus is frozen
i wear longjohns, timberland boots,
and warm accouterments everyday

like i said..
madness

can't wait to be back in that south florida sun
fuck this slipping on the icy brink of snowing shit

happy rosh hashanah, everyone
tonight i celebrated the jewish new year
with my good girlfriends drinking wine and
eating apples and honey (to signify the sweetness
of the coming year) and threw bread in the willamette
river (to caste off the badness from last year
into a body of water that flows to
the ocean) and wished everyone
a good slice of the pie
of the new year

i am so fucking excited
that lindsay is coming on sunday
and gary is coming the thurday after that
and all my papers are going to be written and
turned in by the time my florida lovelies show up...
fall break is coming up so soon and i can't wait
i'm gonna relax and have good sex
something i haven't done
since i've been in
rosy, rainy
portland

checking in with my p.o.
early tomorrow morning...
the community service
i do here is recockulous
i do landscaping in the rain
every saturday for 8 hours a day
and if i don't miss -any- days,
i'll be done with my 300 hours
by next j u n e !
wild, isn't it?!
no more raging
on friday nights for me
seeing as i have to get up at 6
and do hard physical labor all day
with the "most cracked of the crack pots"
as chuck palahniuk calls portlanders
but that's cool because i can
get work done in the
library on fridays
like a real dork
i love it

anyway
i really like
writing in my livejournal
once every few months or so
trying to do my part to
keep in touch
much love
hillary

as of yesterday
my part time job is a
12 hour a day/6 day a week
very, VERY full time job
yay for my second raise
in as many weeks

saw gary today
how depressing
no more of that

i went to my first ever drug evaluation
endless paperwork and two hours of
a complete stranger asking me
all kinds of personal
questions about
anything and
everything
apparently i lied effectively
because she gave me 6 weeks
of drug education classes
as opposed to 12 weeks
of drug treatment
i also have to go to
one AA and one NA meeting
for "educational purposes"
which i don't mind at all
at least those meetings are free
and, hell, i think they'll be interesting
it's all part of the probation game i'm playing

i feel lighter
and happier than
i can remember
feeling in ages

i had an amazing affair
with my sweetheart dustin
this week then ended my 2 and
a half year relationship with gary

i also tried to
quit and restarted
smoking cigarettes
ahhh, well...

that's two fantasies fulfilled
one bad habit down and
one more to go

i'm counting down the days
until i move to melbourne beach
anyone who wants to visit, call, or write
should take note:
304 avenue a
melbourne beach, fl
32951 and
(321) 724 4174

hobe sound
has been good to me
these past few months but
i'll be glad to move on and
reestablish myself somewhere else
i'm making good money but also
getting hella sick of
my jobs here so
it's time to
get shiny
new ones

speaking of jobs + money
i called the irs
yesterday because
i've been working and
filing my taxes for 4 years
but have never received a refund
so i explained my two last names and
in 3 to 4 weeks i'll have 4 years worth
of federal income tax refunds in my mailbox
i'm so fucking stoked that i get back
money that i've already earned
but wrote off long ago
yee fucking haw !!

oh yeah, and
clem snide is my
new favorite band
they are so excellent
the cd is called End of Love
look into it

wishing wonderful summers
to anyone and everyone
much love, hillary

i can't cross county lines without permission
play with firearms, fireworks, or weapons
have contact with other known felons
or use illegal drugs or alcohol

but i don't think it's such a bad deal
because at least i'm not locked up
of course, i'm not free
but, really,
who is?

land of the free?
whoever told you that
is your enemy ...

i'm starting to get used to this high
of thinking that i'm going to jail
on a certain day and then ...
not having to go! (yet)
the week or so
before you think that
you're going to be locked up
you get this injection of appreciation
for all things free and simple and natural and real
it feels akin to a near-death experience
then, when you do find out that
you don't have to go in (yet)
the relief/high is comparable to starting to bleed
when you've been late for so long and sure you're knocked up
well, that's been my roller coaster over
the last few months, at least
but, i must admit,
i take the highs
i can get these days..
i've been clean and serene
for a whole 22 days now
for real!
i passed a drug screening last week
apparently, all that echinacea, goldenseal,
niacin, exercise, and water worked
at least i can still smoke
weed in my dreams
actually puffing + getting high
in a dream is the coolest feeling ever
and they'll never take that away from me :)

hey, hobe sound kids:
john snow's making rad hsl tshirts
check him out at hslocal.com

back to bed
with tom robbins
goodnight

all i ever watch on tv
anymore is cartoons...
king of the hill
family guy
simpsons
adult swim
so much adult swim

semester is screeching to a halt
three more days of classes
and then lindsay's coming!!!
it's all going to be too much fun..

in worse news,
do you ever feel like
your heart is pumping diarrhea?
take it from me,
it's no good

i wouldn't want to live here
but, damn, is it ever fun to visit

i looove the beach
today while i was there
abram's chameleon fell asleep
on me while soaking up rays
orlando was nice as well
probably going to be
back there on
friday

every day
is a good day
in a different way

if anybody
wants to hang out
call me at my mom's house
which is 772 546 3160
and i'll tell you
the truth in
the form of
hip hop

so i'm coming back to florida
for my fall break real soon
i'll be there from the
16th to the 23rd
i can't wait
i hope i get to see
everyone that i love
(this means you, lindsay lou!)

this afternoon
i'm driving down
to san fransisco with friends
for a free concert in golden gate park
eeee! i'm so excited to be in sunny california
for the weekend with a bunch of happy hippies
i'm not so excited about having to write
a 10 page paper for my history class
on my laptop in the car but
oh well
seeing john prine
and peter rowan and
a bunch of other bluegrass
and reggae for free will be
well worth the trouble
yeehaw
i'm off
much love

oh my goodness
my life is moving
so quickly these days!
in the last week alone i've
eaten a lot of fungus,
gone to an indie rock show
and brought the band home with me,
gone to ralph nader's nominating convention,
wandered around mt. hood nat'l forest looking for hot springs
(we never found the hot springs but we did see snow!),
attended my first traditional passover seder,
and shot potato guns off on the front
lawn of my school with a cute boy
who wants to do me .....

yes, it's the sultan's life for me

well
i forgot
about daylight savings time
for at least the second year in a row
oh well, i haven't done anything
but smoke herb and think
about what i'm going
to do this summer
all day long...
ok, here's my
tentative
itinerary:
i think
i'll fly to fla
after school gets out,
spend the second half of may
and the first week of june
there and, hopefully, on andros, too
(anybody want to go on a tropical vacation?)
then i need to get a ride
up to b o n n a r o o
wooooo!!!!!
then get a ride up to michigan
from tennessee and spend the rest
of june and july working in mi
and chilling the fuck out
then i'm going to fly
back to portland
in the beginning of august
and get a place with naomi
classes start in september again.
damn, that sounds like a fucking plan
hopefully, i'll be able to hang out
with all of the fun kids that
i want to see this summer

and the rest of my school year
is going to go by really quickly
there are all kinds of fun events
coming up that i'm looking forward to
and portland is absolutely beautiful
this time of year! all the flowers and
warm, sunny days are really quite impressive

speaking of the sun,
i'm going to get back outside
time to read my bible and
puff on the front lawn

have a nice day

there's no rest
for the w i c k e d

i spent a very lucrative weekend
scamming department stores
and the best part is...
it was in the name of <3 l o v e <3

we're living
the high life
these days

our room is full
of the dankest herb
and the sweetest hash

yesterday
naomi shaped
a $100+ ball of hash
into a giraffe because
it's that soft and
that abundant

yep, sometimes it's just that good

it's snowing!!!!!

it's fucking s n o w i n g ! ! ! ! !

haha, i saw david sedaris tonight
he was entirely -too- funny

and i was in desperate need
of the stress-relieving powers
of some quality l a u g h t e r

everything seems better now
the world isn't depressing
it's fucking hilarious
and i love it

today is such a wonderful day
i got caught in a massive thunderstorm earlier
for all the rain that we get here,
thunder and lightning are quite rare
but i love thunder and black skies oh so much

and i picked up my (free) ticket
to see david sedaris read from his new book
in the reed auditorium at the end of the month
i'm so excited about that
he's fucking hilarious

and i got a package
from my wonderful boyfriend
hooray for new underwear!!

anyway
i'm happy and
i hope you all are, too
take it easy
hillary

so friday night
was one of the first times
that i've felt i'm truly getting
the whole "college experience" thing

went to a keg party
with some girlfriends
fended off drunk guys all night
then we ended up going back to these kids' house
it's called "the fridge" because it's a really old house
and the heater doesn't work and it's cold as a bitch
so we sat around their living room all night
talking and smoking and drinking and
i just had the best time ever
when we finally came home
the sun was rising
but we were starving so
my room mate and i raided
all the kitchens on all the floors
of our dorm and scored some awesome munchies
we watched the sun rise and ate bananas + peanut butter
by this time naomi and i weren't even tired anymore
i called gary (3 hour time difference) and
then decided to just start writing
this big paper that was due
at 5 pm on saturday
so yeah
i wrote the paper
on no sleep whatsoever
i think it turned out alright, too
tried to sleep after i turned it in at 2
but that didn't work out so naomi and i
just stayed up the rest of the day
the funny thing is
i wasn't cranky
from lack of sleep
in fact, i was in the best mood
that i've been in in a really long time
maybe being social isn't such a bad thing
i think i'm going to try it more often

oh, and everyone
who has the privilege
of getting to see lindsay
should wish her a happy birthday

i want everyone who reads this
to respond with four words
that define life ...

simple enough, right?